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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148892">Just What You've Always Wanted</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/smalltrolven/pseuds/smalltrolven'>smalltrolven</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angsty Schmoop, Episode Fix-it, Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Season/Series 12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:01:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,756</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/smalltrolven/pseuds/smalltrolven</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Amara gave Dean just what he’s always wanted—Mom. But she also did the same for Sam—Jess. The two women returning makes the brothers have to reevaluate how they’ve been living their lives together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Supernatural Canon BigBang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just What You've Always Wanted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Vague references to former Sam/Jess.<br/>Author’s Note: Not my characters, only my words. This is a season 12 AU that occurs after some of the events in episode 12.01, “Keep Calm and Carry On.” Written for the 2020 spn-canon-bigbang.  Thank you so much DWImpala67, your great art and constant support were crucial for this story getting posted. Thanks to the mods for letting me post late.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>Art Masterpost <a href="https://dwimpala-67.tumblr.com/post/627087228486762498/artpost-for-spn-canon-big-bang">is right here.</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~**~~</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>When Dean was given ‘what he’s always wanted’—at least according to Amara, he was of course over-the-moon happy to get to see Mary once again, flat out thrilled even. But when he finally got his mother back home to the bunker and saw Sam, bleeding from a gunshot wound, Dean’s happiness instantly dimmed to less than nothing. Then came the very next instant filled with confusion, because he noticed someone else, it was Jess who was holding a gun on an angry blonde woman yelling obscenities with a distinctly British accent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Wait…hold on a second…Jess?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean honestly wasn’t sure what the hell was even happening. Or if any of it was even real, who knew with Amara, right? The whole thing might be some kind of projection. But all that really mattered to Dean was that his brother was injured and possibly about to be killed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Heya, Sammy, you okay? Who the hell is this and, uh…why is Jess here?” Dean asked from the top of the stairway, going with assuming it was all real and just as bat-crap crazy as it seemed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam blinked up at him several times, to Dean’s eyes it seemed like Sam was probably trying to figure out if he was hallucinating again. Sam didn’t say anything in return to Dean’s greeting, he just watched as Dean descended the staircase with wide, almost scared eyes. Dean didn’t notice how upset Sam really was, as far as Dean knew, there wasn’t a damn thing wrong in the world. Because there wasn’t, right? He’d just survived being a soul bomb, negotiated a truce between Chuck and Amara and gotten home to Sam, with a bonus resurrected Mom in tow. All good…right?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean finally realized his sudden appearance was too much when he saw Sam’s face turn to horror instead of confusion. Mary stood behind Dean on the landing and looked down the stairway at Sam. When Sam’s eyes shifted to her and bugged out even wider than before, Dean could tell that Sam thought that now he really was hallucinating. It seemed like Sam was about to have a complete breakdown. Dean rushed down the last few steps, his arms outstretched for Sam.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s me, Sammy, you’re okay, I swear it’s really me. Remember, stone number one,” Dean said, hoping that would help his brother avoid the oncoming breakdown. His arms were still open wide, but Sam hadn’t come to him yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dean how can it really be you? Why is Mom here, she’s dead right, but so’s Jess, she’s dead too, right? Wait, why are <em>you</em> here? I thought…the world didn’t end, so that meant you were blown up, but you’re…you're not,” Sam asked in a rush, crashing into Dean’s arms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They held each other tightly for a moment that went over into well past too long. Only Mary’s ‘ahem’ broke them out of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was Amara, she and Chuck made up because I got ‘em to talk. No one blew up anything or anyone, especially me,” Dean said, mumbling the words into Sam’s hair as they pressed themselves together, heedless of anyone else in the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s really you, you’re really here,” Sam said, stroking Dean’s shoulders with both of his hands, not letting go of their physical connection for a moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean reached up and held his brother’s hands, pressing them down against his own shoulders, so Sam would know that he didn’t want Sam going anywhere. Sam’s face was full of awe and joy and relief and he was so completely beautiful in this moment of yet another bizarre reunion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Amara said she’d give me what I’d always wanted as like…uh, a reward for helping her work things out with Chuck. So… here Mom is. And I‘m guessing that’s why Jess is here too, she must be your reward,” Dean said, nodding over to Jess.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jess’s attention had been focused on the two men hugging in front of her, so that the woman who’d been cursing at her in increasingly colorful terms was able to kick the gun out of her hands. It flew through the air and landed on the floor in a wild spin near Mary. Luckily she knew how to handle a gun and competently scooped it up to turn it on the still cursing woman. The woman went very still as she could obviously see Mary knew what she was doing with the gun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean let go of Sam’s hands to take his own gun out from the back of his waistband and waved it towards the British woman, so that she’d sit down at one of the library tables. “What’s your story, lady, and why the fuck did you shoot my brother?” He slipped an arm around Sam’s waist to keep him close.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m from the Men of Letters in England. I was sent to either bring you boys in or take you out,” she said with a sniff of obvious disdain as she arranged herself primly in the chair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, no, no, this isn’t an episode of Buffy for chrissakes, c’mon you can do better than that story,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I am not certain who this Buffy might be, but that is indeed my mission. If you’d only let me access my phone, I shall contact my superior, perhaps he can speak in more easily understood terms,” she offered, looking steadily at Dean across the table, her hands sneaking down to her lap.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No thanks, we’ll stick with just you for now, and keep your goddamn hands on the table where I can see ‘em!” Dean barked, waving the gun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She glared daggers at Dean and put her hands back up on the table’s surface.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean still had one arm around Sam’s waist, it felt right to keep it there after their extended hug. Sam wasn’t protesting or moving away even though other people were there. Usually they didn’t do any PDA of any kind, but even Dean could admit to himself that they both needed it. He squeezed Sam a little and finally let go of him, sitting down at the table across from the snotty woman. “Why don’t you start with telling us your name? You owe us that at least,” Dean said, leaning back in the chair slightly so that the back of his head brushed across the front of Sam where he’d stepped up behind him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman just made an ugly grimace at him across the table instead of answering, her hands clenching into fists. Her eyes shifted and she glared up at Sam.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She calls herself Lady Antonia Bevell. She said that we’re in trouble with the Men of Letters for what we’ve been playing around with—Death and Chuck and Amara, all of that,” Sam said from behind and above Dean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hold on just a damn minute! You’re saying my boys are in trouble? After everything they’ve done to save this planet?” Mary asked, white-hot motherly anger rising in her tone, she stepped closer to the table, the gun she held still trained on this Lady Bevell person.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks, Mom,” Sam said, staring over at her with a wide smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re welcome, son,” Mary answered, smiling up at him and hugging him around the waist as Dean had been. The three Winchesters presented a united-as-one front as Dean held a gun on this Antonia person across the table and Mary also pointed one at her from behind him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lady Bevell laughed at all three of them, the smile on her face didn’t match her eyes, which remained cold and deadly. She was putting on a pretty good show to not seem worried about the two guns being pointed in her direction. “As I was told, the Brothers Winchester have caused several near-apocalypses, madam. We are well within our rights and obligations to contain the danger that your sons may yet still wreak on our planet.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Lady, I just played Dr. Phil to God and his freaking sister. Amara was about to wipe out existence as we know it, including Him, and I was the one that got the two of them to talk it out. Could your bosses, or you have done that with your fancy spells and ancient lore? I kinda doubt it.” Sam’s hands massaged at Dean’s shoulders so he leaned back into Sam a little more for the connection.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why would they have gotten a reward like having Mary and myself come back here from Heaven if they weren’t on the right side of things?” Jess asked, finally breaking into the conversation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s a damn good question, and heya, Jess,” Dean said with a smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jess nodded at him and returned his smile, shifting over to stand closer at Mary’s side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You two ladies are a bit biased, no? And perhaps out of touch with what has been going on here on Earth as you’ve been dead for many years at this point, no?” Antonia asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hell no, we’re not out of fucking touch,” Mary laughed, “we’ve both been watching them all this time. They’ve been kicking ass and taking names just like they were supposed to. We couldn’t be prouder of the two of them, right, Jess?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hell yeah!” Jess said, stepping up next to Mary. “They’ve saved the whole world several times, when has your group ever done something like that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That is information well above your pay grade,” Antonia sniffed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her haughty reaction made all four of them laugh out loud at her. God, how awesome was it to get to laugh out loud together with these two women and his brother? Dean remembered the last time the four of them had been together, it had been in his djinn dream, but none of them had been real of course, and no one had been laughing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean didn’t want to think about that too much, so he pushed himself up to standing and motioned with the gun. “C’mon, let’s go. Time to stow this one in the dungeon until she feels more like sharing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hold on one second, a dungeon?” Antonia asked, standing up slowly, her face finally looking just a bit worried.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh c’mon, you don’t have those in the British version of the Men of Letters? I find that very hard to believe,” Sam said, moving to stay behind Dean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ll be right back with you ladies,” Dean said over his shoulder as they walked Antonia out of the War Room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They marched her down the hall to an increasing litany of curses and threats. While Dean kept the gun on her, Sam struggled to secure the cuffs on her wrists and ankles as she tried to thrash out of his hold. Finally he got her tied down to the sturdy metal chair in the center of the dungeon. It still had a devil’s trap painted on the floor, left over from their previous activities in the room. Dean wondered if it would come in handy, it was possible she was part demon the way she was fighting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You cool off in here for a while,” Dean said, splashing a bit of holy water on her from one of the flasks on the table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Antonia spluttered and screamed another round of curses. She wasn’t sizzling like a demon, so that was good information to know about their unknown and uninvited guest. Dean watched as Sam grabbed a silver knife off the table. He sliced the back of her neck, smiling sideways at Dean as she screamed. Still no sizzling, just a stupid human to deal with.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t go anywhere, we’ll be back eventually,” Sam said, shutting the lights off and closing the door behind them, blocking out Toni’s screams of protest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck, you’re so damn hot when you take control like that,” Dean said, pressing him up against the door and pulling Sam down into a rough kiss.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam kissed him back, passionately and thoroughly, one of those kisses neither of them had ever been able to hold back from. At this point in their lives they’d had way too many chances to practice the you’re-back-from-the-dead kiss, it wasn’t one bit funny that they were both so damn good at it by now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re bleeding on me, dude,” Dean said, staring at the blood that had soaked into his jeans from Sam’s bloody bullet wound.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh…I should probably—“ Sam started and then trailed off, practically swooning into Dean’s arms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean made an oof sound and managed to hold Sam up, guiding him down the hall towards the infirmary. “Where the hell is Cas? I thought he’d be here with you. I asked him to make sure you were okay.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She…uh…she used the angel banishing sigil thingy on him,” Sam murmured as Dean heaved him up onto one of the gurneys.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’ll probably be back here pretty soon then. But you’re bleeding a lot, so we can’t wait for him to come back and take care of this.” Dean rolled Sam under the surgery light and flipped the switch. He frowned at where the bullet had ripped into Sam’s jeans. The wound seemed to be right above his knee, in the outer meaty part of Sam’s thigh. One of the least damaging places to get shot, so at least the bitch had good aim. Thank whatever deities that were remaining that she hadn’t pegged Sam in the kneecap.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She had just gotten rid of Cas, and…I…uh…I was just telling her I didn’t think she’d really shoot me. But she did it…she shot me—“ Sam trailed off like a fading radio station.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can see that, dude,” Dean said, gathering the supplies he’d need to stitch Sam up, he shook his brother’s shoulder just a little to get the rest of the story out of him and to keep him from passing out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And…uh…and then all of a sudden Jess showed up. It shocked Toni and I so much we both just froze, which was lucky, it gave Jess a chance to get the gun away from Toni.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Toni, wait who’s Toni?” Dean asked as he worked to get Sam’s jeans down low enough so he could operate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Lady Antonia Bevell, Toni for short, that’s what she told us to call her right before you got here,” Sam said, wincing at the pain of the wrecked jeans moving over his wound.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean made a low whistling sound when he saw his brother’s ripped up skin. “Well, she’s got good aim at least, it’s a through and through and no arteries hit. She’s still a raging bitch for actually shooting you though.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you think it means, that she’s saying that she has orders to kill us or take us in?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ve got no freaking clue, dude. I’m confused about this whole British Men of Letters thing in the first place. Is that really a thing, did we even know about them?” Dean asked in a tight voice, as he worked to cauterize the small veins in Sam’s wound that were still bleeding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I knew The Letters was a worldwide organization with chapters all over the world, but I guess since we never heard from anyone when we got into the bunker and activated everything, I just figured Abaddon had been really thorough in destroying the Letters worldwide. A bad assumption on my part, apparently.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Remember what Bobby always used to say about that?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Never assume a thing, cause it makes an ass outta you and me,” Sam said in a soft voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wonder what their version of the bunker looks like over in England?” Dean asked as he stitched Sam’s skin back together. “Probably like something straight out of Harry Potter, or maybe a James Bond secret MI-6 thing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s probably a boring old library, in a cold drafty castle,” Sam said, groaning with the sharp pain of being stitched up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do we do with her now, though? Can we send her back to her drafty castle with a thanks but no thanks to pass on to her boss? Maybe tell them to throw her in the castle moat for all we care?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have a feeling it’ll be a little more complicated than that,” Sam said. “But we need to keep her in the dungeon at least for a little while. Maybe her bosses will contact us or something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I hope they don’t just show up unannounced. Do you think we need to get ready for something like that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m guessing that she probably has a back up out there somewhere,” Sam said. “We need to tell Jess and Mom to be prepared for anything. She had to have a Men of Letters key to get herself inside here, so the backup might have one too.”</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Dean carefully taped up the wound, and laid his hand above it on Sam’s bare upper thigh. He leaned forward and kissed the skin that wasn’t bloody. His lips moved in a silent prayer against Sam’s warm skin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’re you saying?” Sam asked, one of his hands gently stroking Dean’s hair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean looked up and was surprised all over again at how much he loved this man. “Bunch of secret stuff,” Dean said with a grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“C’mere,” Sam said, pulling Dean down for a kiss. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders, like he was desperate all of a sudden to hold onto him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s okay, Sammy, I’m here, not going anywhere,” Dean murmured into Sam’s mouth, kissing the promise into him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>****</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You got Sam all taken care of?” Mary asked as Dean poked his head into the kitchen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jess was busy making a pot of tea and Mary was cutting up some fruit at the counter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, he’s sleeping it off for now. What is this, tea time or something?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, we decided we’re going to slowly reacclimate ourselves to eating and drinking. It seemed like tea and fruit would be an easy start,” Mary said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve been corporeal, you know? We thought diving into swilling down whisky and eating cheeseburgers with you might be a little too shocking to our systems just yet,” Jess said with a grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, I resemble that remark,” Dean protested.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All three of them laughed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean sat at the table and watched the two women work together, already moving like a well-rehearsed team. Jess was tall and leggy, just like Sam, with Mary shorter and wider-shouldered, just like him. It was an interesting thing to observe. He drank from his flask because he didn’t want to think much more on that subject. There were going to be issues about he and Sam being together, how could there not be? His mom would likely be disgusted and so would Jess, and then they would leave and then what? He drank again, definitely not wanting to think too much about why Jess was even here. Was she really what Sam wanted? Otherwise, why would Amara have brought her back along with mom?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was going to offer you some tea, but I see you’ve already got your beverage choice handled,” Mary said, watching Dean drain the rest of the contents of his flask.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Great, just what he needed, yet another person around to criticize his drinking habits.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s been a long couple of days, I’m not explaining it to you past that,” Dean grumbled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dude, she’s kidding, and we know, believe me we know how hard it’s been the last few years much less days for you guys,” Jess said, sitting down at the table with three mugs for the tea.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mary sat down with the plate of cut up apples and pears. “I think you deserve that drink and many more, Dean. You guys saved the world again. Like we said earlier, we couldn’t be prouder of you, and that includes your dad too, by the way.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dad? You mean you all have been watching us?” Dean asked, his stomach plummeting with the thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, we have, and we turn the channel when things get hot and heavy with you two, don’t worry,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, you guys know…about Sam and me being together?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, we know, Dean, and we think it’s beautiful. You see things differently looking down on Earth from Heaven. The soul bond thing that Chuck gave you two, it’s the most beautiful thing in the world, truly,” Mary said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean almost burst into tears at her words, a wave of hot emotion, relief and love all mixed together. “So…you guys think it’s okay that Sam and I are together like we are? Even Dad thinks so?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, Dean, even your father. It’s all cool with us, really, just stop worrying about it. As far as I care, you guys are a meant-to-be sort of situation, the rules were made to be bent just for cases like you,” Mary said. “John thinks it’s adorable, he was really happy when you finally got together.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You watch us all the time, like some marathon tv show?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not the only thing we do, but yes, we check in on you frequently. It’s not like we can do anything about what you’re going through, but we at least feel like we’re with you in spirit,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, it’s hard to think about being observed all this time, honestly, between you and Cas watching us, it’s a little creepy really,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can see how it’d feel like that, but know that it comes from a place of love. All of us love you and Sam very much, and since you couldn’t call us or send us letters or anything, this was the next best thing,” Mary said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sam’s gonna flip the fuck out when he hears this,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You mean kinda like you are right now?” Mary asked with a one-sided grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, pretty much, maybe worse, we’ll see,” Dean grumbled, refilling his whisky flask with his spare bottle hidden in the cabinet under the coffee maker.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Sam woke up alone in his bed, tucked in very tightly, by Dean, no doubt. At least his brother had changed him out of those bloody, ruined jeans and into clean, comfortable sweat pants. His leg throbbed and droned at him through the fading painkiller haze. He soon got bored of laying on his bed all alone in his room, he really was feeling a little more rested. He struggled to pull himself together enough to go be useful. He didn’t feel up to talking to their two visitors quite yet so he got busy with the usual visitor preparations.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>First, Sam made sure there were two bedrooms set up and clean enough for the two new additions to the bunker to use later that night. There were lots of sheets in the linen closet, and they didn’t smell too terribly musty. He was struck with the memory of their first visitors in the bunker, Prometheus, Hayley and their little kid, Oliver. God, that kid had been cute, Sam remembered the pillow fight he’d gotten to have with him while his mom and Prometheus had been helping do the research. That had been an unexpectedly nice moment for Sam, a moment of pure joy that hadn’t been tainted afterwards.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Way back when they’d first moved into the bunker, Dean had teased Sam about his campaign to wash all the fine linen sheets that they’d found in the closet. Sam had insisted that it was just in case they needed them. Dean had insisted it was Sam just being OCD and weird about it, but then they’d needed the sheets almost immediately and it had been a good feeling to be able to easily offer hospitality to guests who really needed it. Over the years, Dean had gotten on board with the idea and helped him keep the linens squared away, clean and ready to use.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All of a sudden Sam had to sit down to rest after making up two beds with fresh sheets, all that bending and stretching on top of the recent blood loss making him woozy. He thought about how many guests they’d had in their three short years living in the bunker. Castiel had his own room by this point, and Kevin had too, at least he had right up until…Sam didn’t want to think about all that. Instead he switched to recalling Charlie’s brief stay with them when she was hacking the bunker’s ancient mainframe computer. How they’d basically gotten to have a slumber party with her up until the whole Oz business. And then after Charlie had returned from Oz they’d had a pizza party with her and Cas, shortly before she’d ended up murdered by the Stynes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sigh—another loss he didn’t want to think about. As usual being closely associated with the Winchesters tended to shorten their friend’s lives. Linda Tran had stayed with them briefly too, when they’d discovered Kevin’s ghost. At least she’d managed to escape from their circle alive. He wondered how she was doing these days and made a mental note to send her an email.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’d recently had both Lucifer and God himself in the form of Chuck as houseguests too, as well as the most powerful witch they’d ever met, Rowena and the prophet Donatello who had been activated to take over after Kevin had died. A regular who’s who of the important movers and shakers in the supernatural world had stayed in these very rooms and slept on these very sheets. It was all kind of wild, after a lifetime of living in motels, they had ended up running a motel of sorts that was all their own.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After all that thinking and remembering and resting Sam felt better enough to get the job done the rest of the way. He wiped down the surfaces in the two rooms and made sure there were enough blankets and pillows on each bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once the rooms were squared away and ready to use, he noticed the enticing smell of something cooking and made his way slowly down the hall to the kitchen. He peeked in and saw the three of them working together, laughing and drinking beer. It was homey in the bunker all of a sudden, like it had been just a few times before when they’d had dinners with Cas and others. This was different though, it was a real occasion to have these two women back in their lives. It was all pretty extraordinary, really. He wasn’t sure how it was going to go, how they could possibly all adjust to such an enormous change, but it was going to be interesting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p><br/>
“Ah, there’s our patient, how are you doing, Sam?” Mary asked when she spotted Sam lurking in the doorway. She was tossing a green salad that made Sam’s mouth water.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sammy, you’re up, how’s the leg feeling?” Dean asked, stirring the spaghetti and the meat sauce they’d cooked up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We made so much food, hope you’re hungry, c’mon and sit down before you fall down,” Jess said, motioning him towards the table set for four.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam sat and watched them finish fixing the meal, rubbing at a particularly sore spot on his leg near the stitches. It was really throbbing now, whatever Dean had given him had definitely worn off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean sat next to him, with two beers and a bottle of painkillers. “Time for another dose if you need it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“After I eat something, yeah, thanks,” Sam said in a quiet voice. He felt like he was in shock still, being shot, having Dean’s miraculous return alive with Mary and Jess showing up. Oh and the world didn’t come to an end either. A lot had happened. He grabbed the beer bottle Dean had put by his place setting and drank deeply, trying to quell the surge of worry about all of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Take it easy there,” Dean said in a voice low enough that only Sam could hear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cas still isn’t here, huh?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not yet, no, maybe he’s taking the long way home,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s been hours and hours by now, where do you think he is?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No idea, dude. You know how he gets sometimes, maybe this is one of those,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Have you gone down to the dungeon to check on our guest?” Sam asked as Mary and Jess brought over all the food.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam watched as Dean scooped up an enormous helping of spaghetti and meat sauce, leaving no room on his plate for salad.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nope, was saving that for later, let her stew for a while,” Dean said, twirling a forkful of spaghetti up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I went and checked on her about a half hour ago, just to make sure she was still secure,” Mary said, passing the salad over to Sam.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks, Mom,” Sam said, smiling at her and at himself, just for getting to say that. “Oh, uh, do you want us to call you Mary? It’s probably kind of weird to hear Mom again.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Either works for me, and I heard a rumor that I’m only supposed to call you Sam,” Mary said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam blushed and nodded. Dean elbowed him in the ribs discreetly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“When we were at Stanford, Sam would go off on people if they called him Sammy, it was hilarious,” Jess said with a wide-toothed grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s because only I’m allowed to call him that, right, Sammy?” Dean asked with that fond voice Sam loved so much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam barely held himself back from kissing his answer into Dean’s mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mary raised her beer bottle. “A toast to the world still being here thanks to my boys.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Here, here,” Jess said, clinking her bottle to Mary’s and the brothers in turn. “And to second chances.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The four of them ended up having a relaxing dinner around the kitchen table, it was a pleasant surprise really. After all the weirdness of the last several days, to be able to sit down and have fairly normal conversations with two women he thought he’d never see again in this life. Okay, so that was weird. Another weird thing was Dean acting a little strange during their wide-ranging catch up conversation over dinner. Maybe it was just shock from all that had happened. Sam rubbed at the skin around the gunshot wound, where Dean had stitched him up, it was still really hurting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You taken anything for that?” Mary asked, eyes going down to where Sam’s leg was under the table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you’ve got the good stuff, you should take it. It’ll help you heal up faster because it’ll make you rest,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Here you go,” Dean said, tipping two of the big white pills out of the bottle onto the table near Sam’s hand. It was hard to say no when all three of them ganged up on him like this. Sam swallowed the painkillers down with the last of his beer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m surprised Cas still hasn’t shown up,” Sam said. “I’m starting to get a little worried about him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’s an angel, I’m pretty sure he can take care of himself,” Mary said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The angels used to talk about him, up there,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let me guess, funniest angel in the garrison?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, he…uh, was known as Yorb Vovin,” Mary said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dragon Roar, really?” Sam translated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean burst out laughing, wheezing until his eyes overflowed. The rest of them joined in because they couldn’t help themselves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After they were done eating and laughing, Dean and Mary wandered off talking about munitions and the bunker’s gun range, so Jess and Sam ended up doing the dinner dishes together. Sam took the opportunity to suss out how she was feeling about ending up here back on Earth stuck with them after being in Heaven.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tell me about what it was like getting here from Heaven,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“When Amara opened my door in Heaven, she caught me watching you, I was so worried about you, Sam. You were sure that Dean was dead because the sun was still shining and there was still a world, but all of a sudden, there Amara was in my Heaven, asking me if I wanted to come back and be with you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You mean you got a choice?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, she said she knew how you felt so strongly about people having autonomy based on your life experiences. And I said yes absolutely, I wanted to come back. I didn’t have to even think about it,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why though, Jess? You were in Heaven, weren’t you happy?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mostly happy, sure, but there weren’t a lot of people in my Heaven, because I died kind of young, so it was honestly getting kind of boring. Plus I was worried about you and how you were going to handle Dean dying again,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hold on, Amara didn’t tell you that Dean was still alive? That seems like some kind of a sneaky trick, don’t you think?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, she didn’t mention it directly, but I guess I wasn’t all that surprised when Dean showed up here alive and well. Honestly, Amara seemed very okay with everything, she kept talking about how much she loved her brother, and had Dean to thank for it. That it was all because of Dean’s example of loving his own brother that she’d changed course. She didn’t seem like she’d just let Dean blow himself up,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, if you’d said no to her, you think she would have left you alone, let you stay in Heaven?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure, I guess. It wasn’t that long of a conversation really, I didn’t get to know her like you did,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The Amara we were dealing with was absolutely ruthless, saw everything in black and white and had an ends-justify-the-means way of doing things. The Amara I know would have definitely just yanked you out anyway,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, I’m telling you it’s what I would have picked. I’m here now to stay, and I’m happy about it. And I’m happy that you and Dean can be back together like you should be.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know about us,” Sam said, his voice gone flat with the surprise. <em>So that’s what Dean was acting strangely about at dinner.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, Sam I know all about you two, and it’s okay, I swear. Besides, I always knew when we were together that you had a someone,” Jess said, handing him a plate to dry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A someone? I had you, Jess,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I mean you had a someone from your past, a person that you hadn’t gotten over, or maybe wouldn’t ever really move on from. Once I started watching you from Heaven, I realized just how right I was,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m…I’m really sorry, Jess. I tried so hard,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I know you did, Sam, I was there, remember? And you were wonderful, the best partner I ever had, well the only one, really. I’m just glad to see you got back to him after everything,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m really glad you’re here, Jess,” Sam said, pulling her into a hug. It was so strange to hold her once again, his body still remembered her. He didn’t feel the desire for her that he used to feel and was happy that he wouldn’t have to deal with that sort of confusing conflict. He was all in for Dean now, had been for years by this point.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam was so deep in his thoughts and in enjoying finally getting to talk to Jess after so many years that he didn’t notice Dean observing their embrace from the kitchen doorway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>****</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean was nowhere to be found after Sam and Jess had finished doing the dinner dishes. It had been fun to chat with her alone for a little bit, even though he was so used to doing the dishes with Dean. Sam showed Mary and Jess to their rooms and then went searching for his brother. He finally found Dean in one of the unused bedrooms, making up the small bed. There was a stack of Dean’s clothing folded neatly on the desk and several of his weapons arranged on the shelf. All the personal things that Dean treasured, the ones that were usually in their bedroom were now displayed on this dresser.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Several possibilities ran through Sam’s head to explain what was happening as he stood against the doorway watching his brother move robotically around the room. “Why’s all your stuff in here, Dean? Are we moving rooms or something?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean’s shoulders slumped but he didn’t turn around to face Sam. “I figured you’d want to use that room with Jess, it’s—ya know…better set up for two.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam watched as Dean shrugged and continued making up the small, single bed without facing him. He couldn’t think of anything to say. He was struck with a deep confusion at Dean’s words, maybe it was from the painkillers they’d forced on him at the end of dinner.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is this about Jess being back or something else that I’ve missed?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why is Jess here, Sam?” Dean finally asked. “Is she still really what you’ve always wanted?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hold on, let me get this straight, you’re assuming I’m just going to be with Jess now. You’re moving out of our room so that Jess and I can have it, with the big bed and everything,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean finally turned around and looked at him. Sam could see that he had been dead right, his brother was assuming all of that and probably a whole lot more. His heart sank as he realized that Dean was just giving up on them without a fight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She must be what you still really really want, otherwise Amara wouldn’t have brought her back,” Dean said in a low mumble.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam could see how much it was costing his brother to even speak, it was an awful terrible price to witness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure, Jess was who I wanted at some point, and all of what she represented, yeah, I’ll admit it. For a lot of years after she’d died she absolutely still was. But then…you know, you and me happened.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean shrugged and looked at his stuff on top of the dresser instead of meeting Sam’s eyes, it was infuriating. Sam almost turned around and left but he noticed Dean’s tightly crossed arms and especially his hands. He could see how hard they were clenched around Dean’s elbows, so tight his brother’s knuckles were white. That stopped him, and it gave him the excuse he needed to be honest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dean, I don’t want that anymore, none of it, not Jess, not normal or whatever. I just don’t want anything else other than us being together. That’s all I want or need, you and me like we are right now. I’m not sure where Amara got it from really.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even after all of that, Dean turned away and busied himself with putting his clothes away in the empty dresser drawers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dean, you believe me right?” Sam asked after a long pause where Dean didn’t say anything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean shrugged and looked away like his small pile of dirty laundry in the basket in the corner was the most interesting thing in the world. “Yeah, sure I do.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam walked forward and pinched his brother’s shoulder causing Dean to flinch and whack at his hand. He grabbed at Dean’s hand and pulled him around to face him. “You have to believe me, Dean. In my heart, deep down, my whole life I only ever wanted you. But I have you, right? I already have you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, Amara couldn’t give me what I already had,” Sam said, stopping himself from shaking Dean like he wanted to, so that he’d get finally get it through his thick head.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Dean thought about what Sam was trying to say. He eventually smiled at Sam’s words and nodded, laying his head on Sam’s shoulder with what sounded like a sigh of relief. “Can we just go to bed, Sammy?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, of course we can, but in the right room,” Sam said as he steered them out of the smaller room and down the hall to their larger one. Their room with their memory foam bed, and their soft blankets that smelled like them. He laid his brother out across the bed and proved it to him, slowly and thoroughly that he was the only person he wanted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Dean was struggling mightily to stay quiet Sam finally took pity on him and whispered. “I put Mom and Jess in rooms down in the other hallway.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean relaxed then and let himself vocalize at just how good Sam was making him feel.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the morning before they got out of their bed, Sam and Dean had a quiet conversation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So Jess and Mom are back, which is great—don’t get me wrong. But I keep wondering if they really even want to be?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean groaned at having to think so early in the morning, then he glanced at the bedside alarm clock with its glowing green radium numbers, it was after ten, so not that early. “I guess it’s not up to them. I mean, we could try and ask Amara to send them back to Heaven, but I have no idea how we could contact her.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If they wanted to go back, we would figure out a way, right?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean turned in his brother’s arms so he could see his face clearly, Sam was looking for a real answer here. “If they wanted to, yeah, of course we would,” Dean said. “You’re not thinking I’m going to try and make them stay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well…uh, I know how much you really wanted Mom around, and now she is all of a sudden. It would be hard to let her go so soon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want you to have a chance to have her in your life, Sammy. But if she’s unhappy or whatever then of course we’re going to work out how to get them back home to Heaven. What about Jess?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Same goes for Jess, you never got to know her, and I think that would be a good thing—for both of you,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s got to be even weirder for Jess though, at least Mom had the hunting background,”Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, they both said they’d been watching us over the years, right? And last night when we were doing dishes, Jess mentioned that she was glad that she saw so much of our lives, so she could understand what had happened to her.”</p>
<p><br/>
“Huh, that’s pretty wild to think about, that your ex and our folks have been checking in on us all these years,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, it sure helped the immediate situation here so that we could wake up in the same bed this morning. As far as I’m concerned, it’s all good,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wonder what they’re going to want to do?” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They might want to join our Scooby or Buffy gang, whatever the hell we’re calling it now,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can you even imagine, hunting with Mom? Or Jess for that matter?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, not really, I can’t even picture it. But, Dean, the two of them, they’re not going to just sit around here or go get jobs or something. What would the point of being brought back even be then, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s up to them, they’re smart, they’ll work it out,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Talking about all this, got Dean up out of bed first. “I’m gonna go make us some coffee, see who else is up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>****</p>
<p>As Dean took care of business in the bathroom and walked the halls to the kitchen, it seemed to him like no one else was up yet, even this late in the morning. And as it turned out, the only guest they still had to deal with in the bunker this morning was Lady Toni down in the dungeon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was a note from Mary and Jess stuck under the coffee pot:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Boys,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>We’re going on a little road trip on our own. We need to get used to being alive again before we can figure things out with you.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>We’ll be back. We will. We love you.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>And by the way, just to reiterate: we’re okay with you being together like you are. Yeah, it’s weird, but like we said, we’ve been watching you all these years, so it’s not a surprise or anything. Now that we’ve seen it up close and personal, like your dad says, you are adorable together.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Hope the awful English lady is gone by the time we get back.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>See you soon,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mom and Jess</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean yelled for Sam. “Sam! Sammy, you gotta come see this!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam ran in from the hall, shirt half buttoned, jeans falling off his hips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What is it, are you okay?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They’re gone, both of them. Left us this note,” Dean said, holding out the piece of paper.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam read it, and frowned. Finally he looked up at Dean, his eyes watery. “They just left us.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, at least they wrote us a note, right? They’re coming back at some point, so we can get our act together and be a little more ready when they come home, right?” Dean asked, trying to put it in context, take the sting of it off a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I guess,” Sam said, trailing off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sammy, c’mon, don’t take it all personal, they just wanted to get their heads screwed on right, we’d probably have done the same kind of thing.” He hugged Sam briefly and then steered him towards his usual spot at the table where his coffee was waiting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>****</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cas showed up soon after they’d finished breakfast and had both almost finished freaking out about Jess and Mom just taking off like they had.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I would have joined you here much earlier, Sam, but I had to dispatch several people who were lurking around the bunker entrance,” Cas said from the kitchen doorway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam almost dropped the coffee pot he was drying in surprise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, hello to you too,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dean, we had assumed the worst. Why are you here?” Cas asked, tilting his head in confusion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I got Chuck and Amara to work things out, so here I am, back in one piece. Tell us about these people who were outside, Cas,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They were associates of the woman who was here when Sam and I first returned to the bunker. Two men and one woman, dressed like special operations soldiers in black gear, with several strange looking guns. None of which worked on me, thankfully. They had the same accents as the woman in here, reminded me of Monty Python. Your mother and Jessica were under threat, but I protected them.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think you’re letting him watch too much Netflix again, Sam,” Dean teased.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’s an adult, he makes his own choices,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He needs limits, or at least context. For a being who’s lived among humans for so many thousands of years, it’s funny he doesn’t quite have a handle on that yet,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sam, you are injured,” Cas said, stepping forward and leaning down to lay a hand on Sam’s leg over the bullet wound.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cas, the three people, where are they exactly?” Sam asked, trying not to gasp from the sudden pain of his wound being healed with the angel’s grace.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No where,” Cas said. “They are no where and they can stay there for as long as the world lasts as far as I am concerned. They were all intending you grievous harm.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What if we need to talk to them?” Sam asked. “We’re asking Toni questions, and it might be good to also—“</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Put what she says in context? Yes, I could see how that would be helpful,” Cas said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Give me a few days, I will return with them,” Cas said, poofing out of existence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I hate it when he leaves before we get the whole story,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, he protected us from the bad guys, so what else is there to know? I don’t really want to know where he’s got them stashed, ‘no where’ could be some pretty bad places,” Sam said, not bothering to make the actual air quotes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>****</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean was perfectly fine with Mom and Jess being gone, right up until he figured out that they’d taken the Impala. There was a lot of screaming and carrying on that Sam tried his best to ignore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dean, it was Mom’s car a long time before it was yours. Give her a little time with it, I’m sure she’ll bring the Impala back without a scratch on it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She doesn’t even have a freaking driver’s license, Sam!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m pretty sure you don’t forget how to drive just because you’ve been in Heaven for a while,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shit! I wasn’t even worried about that—thanks a whole lot,” Dean stomped off to the garage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam figured that if he let his brother alone for a while he’d work out some other way for them to get around until Mom and Jess came home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>****</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While they attempted to get information about the British version of the Men of Letters out of her, Lady Bevell taunted the brothers about their relationship.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No wonder your mother and girlfriend left you. There were always rumours, you know the way men like to gossip even though they will never name it as such. The scenarios they’d come up with, you two shagging all over the country. I never put much mind to it, but colour me stupid, here we are in your sex dungeon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is not…our sex dungeon. It’s just a dungeon,” Sam corrected.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, not exactly true, but we’ll never share the details, right, Sammy?” Dean teased.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, you only get that on the fifty dollar tour,” Sam said with a grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You…you’re disgusting!” Toni said with a grimace of distaste.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And you’re boring,” Dean said with a triumphant grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Toni, just tell us about the group you work with. We honestly don’t know how this whole Men of Letters thing is supposed to go. Aren’t we supposed to be like a fraternal order or something?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, and if we’re in the same group why in the flying fuck are you trying to kill us?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“As I mentioned earlier, I was sent here by my superiors to either capture you or kill you, depending upon the circumstances. We know about everything you’ve ever done, every ghost hunt, every god or goddess killed, every apocalypse started, etcetera. Something had to be done about you two, that’s the brass tacks.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That all you’re going to say?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Toni nodded, looking like she wanted to cross her arms, but since they were tied to the chair she was unable to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You gonna make the call?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Guess so,” Sam said. “She’ll be able to get more out of her.” Sam pulled his cell phone out and walked into the hall to get some cell reception.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Pray tell me, exactly who is it that he is calling?” Toni asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why the fuck would I tell you that?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because I asked,” Toni said, muttering under her breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you trying to put a spell on me or something?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The muttering continued, so Dean quickly found the duct tape and slapped some over her mouth. Toni’s eyes blazed with rage which was quite satisfying in the moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam came back through the door and smiled when he saw the tape on Toni’s mouth. “She did try it, I told you she would.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well goodie for you,” Dean said. “What’d Ro say?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She wants us to bring Toni to her. If we’re around we won’t let her ‘go there and do that’ whatever that means,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Toni shook her head back and forth vigorously, a brief look of fear in her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam stepped forward and ripped the tape off, smiling when Toni winced. “What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is meant to be frightening I’d imagine, and well it’s not. Honestly I find the whole thing just plain boring. Let me go now, and perhaps I can manage to persuade my superiors to reconsider their decision.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh no, you lost that chance a few hours ago, Toni Baloney,” Dean said, stepping forward to take the piece of tape away from Sam. He replaced it over Toni’s mouth, smoothing it down over her angry face with more force than was strictly necessary.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They gave Toni a shot to knock her out for the trip to Rowena’s, it seemed like it would go better that way for all of them. Sam and Dean carried her limp body between them all the way out to the garage. Sam secured her in the bed of the truck, checked all of her restraints and threw a tarp over her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s going to be out the whole way there,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let’s hope so, if she’s some kind of super spy escape artist, this could get interesting,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean grumbled the entire way there about not having his Baby to drive, how he depended on her, and how unfair it was after he’d saved the world. Sam tried to mollify him with painting the picture of how this way Toni wouldn’t be near them and they wouldn’t have to hear her. Tied up and bouncing around in the back of the old truck was so undignified it almost seemed like just punishment for being shot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They hustled her into Rowena’s place, securing her to the metal chair Rowena had set up in the center of some sort of complicated design on the wooden floor. It was something much more involved than the Devil’s Trap they were used to seeing. Toni’s head still lolled on her shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We found out pretty much nothing from her, and we need to know more about exactly why the British Men of Letters is after us. Anything else you can get besides they’ve been watching us and we’ve caused too many apocalypses so we must be stopped would be useful. Also if she knows anything about how to get a soul back to Heaven, that’d be good too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aye, ye didn’t get ta far then. I’ll take a crack at her and let ye know,” Rowena said with a sly grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’d almost reached the bunker when Sam’s phone rang. “I’ve found that the British gents are on a clean-up tear trying to keep all the occult knowledge from spilling over onto the civilian world. They’re worried you boys are going to let the whole world in on the dirty little secrets of how things really work. That’s where their power comes from after all, knowing all that the masses do not.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So it isn’t anything specific then, just a random clean up that we’re getting swept into?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nay, you two were problem number one for a while, but they were having trouble locating you. The bunker’s properties of deception as well as the Impala’s have kept ye well hidden from their view.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The Impala’s what the what now?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean’s eyebrows shot up and he frowned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The car is en-spelled, Samuel. Did ye really not know? Och such a wee bairn.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rowena, I’m not wee and I’m definitely not a bairn, I’m just not that magically aware or whatever,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fine, fine, laddie I’ll explain it in beginner’s terms then. There is a magical device in the Impala that creates a barrier around the car. It doesn’t make it truly invisible, it is more akin to a very strong suggestion to look elsewhere,” Rowena said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jedi mind trick, these are not the droids you’re looking for, yeah, got it,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not sure what you’re referring to, but I’m glad ye understand. And about getting a soul back to Heaven, there is a whole conversation to be had there. Toni had some ideas on the subject, and I have a few as well. I’ll send you the details in an email once I gather my thoughts, shall I?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sounds good to me. Hey, uh…do we need to come back and get Toni?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I will take care of her as promised, Samuel,” Rowena said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“All I want, Rowena, is not to have to see her face again. She shot me,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“After what she did to ye, laddie, I’ll exact revenge on yer behalf and send her off to points we shall leave unspecified, deal?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Deal,” Sam said with a shrug. He was trying very hard not to care about basically sanctioning Rowena’s possible torture and killing of Toni. But she had it coming, he hated to admit to himself that it was an easy choice. And it was even easier passing off the responsibility to Rowena. But Rowena was apparently on their team now, or at least it seemed that way at the moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam’s phone rang again. He saw who it was on the display and put it on speaker so Dean could hear too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Where are you?” Cas asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We just passed mile marker forty-six on highway thirteen northbound, why?” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because I have news,” Cas said from the cramped back seat of the truck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean was proud of himself for how little the truck swerved. Maybe he was finally getting used to angels appearing in the back seat of whichever vehicle he happened to be driving at the time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have returned the British people back to the Men of Letters. I informed them that they were not to make an attempt on your lives again.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And how did they respond?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Judging by the amount of urine they let out on the floor, using more of my angelic presence than I usually do convinced them,” Cas said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ew, gross,” Dean said with a laugh. “Good, I hope those dicks stay on their side of the Pond for good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You ever going to tell us exactly where ‘No Where’ is, Cas?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The poof of departing feathers was all the answer they got that time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>****</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mary and Jess returned after only a week away, full of tales of being on the road and marveling at the junk food that was now available. At least they returned the Impala in good condition, although Dean was going to take a while to get over that whole thing. Much more importantly though, neither of the women wanted to try the solution that Sam and Rowena had come up with to return them back up to Heaven.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While Mary and Jess were road-tripping, they had decided that since they basically had been handed a second turn around the wheel without the gamble of reincarnation it seemed silly not to try to make the most of it. They assumed that if they didn’t go too wrong, they’d end up back in Heaven eventually after dying a second time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once he had a chance to get to know Jess in this new context, Sam realized that Amara had been absolutely right. Jess was what he had always wanted—a sister. Back in their time together at Stanford, he’d desperately tried to put her in place of Dean, but that hadn’t worked. He’d been fooling himself about wanting to get married, trying to trick himself into believing that he’d be able to live a life without Dean. Could a person possibly be more wrong? <em>Nope, not likely.</em> Sam was just glad that he figured it out eventually. But he was still sorry that Jess had to die so horribly. Maybe if he’d realized all of that sooner, she could have had a regular life, instead of burning to death on their apartment ceiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jess didn’t see it that way—at all. As a recently resurrected person, she had a whole different way of looking at being alive. “But, Sam, I’m getting a second chance here, that’s the whole point of this in a way, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And you’re gonna do what exactly, just go off and hunt with my mom?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hell yeah she is,” Mary said. “We’ll trade off cases with you two, kinda split the workload up. You know you guys could use the help.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, okay then, guess we gotta get you trained up, Jess,” Dean said. “If you’re gonna be backing up my mom, you need the skills.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But, Dean, that’s not what we talked about,” Sam protested.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s their choice, Sammy. It’s their second chance at life, and if this what they want to do, who the hell are we to stop them?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam’s mouth opened and closed shut loudly. He briefly bitch-faced and then nodded, not looking anyone in the eye. “You’re right, I’m sorry, finally getting a chance to be the one being over-protective went to my head I guess.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You guessed right, and we’ll be fine out there, Sam. Your mom really knows her shit,” Jess said. “And it’s not like I can go back and see my family. How the hell would I even explain that to them, my parents are too old for a shock like that, and my brother seems fine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was a pretty traumatic way to lose you, Jess,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I was surprised Sam even survived it really. Getting better seemed impossible for a while there, it took him months and months to really get there,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aww, you missed me,” Jess said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam slapped her knee and grimaced. “Of course I did, the way you died…it haunted my nightmares for years,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jess frowned and then pulled Sam in for a one-armed hug. “I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t mean it like that. I feel pretty damn lucky that I had someone like you missing me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam pulled out of the hug and stared at her for a long moment. “I’m the one who’s sorry, Jess. I didn’t warn you, I had dreams of how you died, for weeks before it happened for real. I should have tried to protect you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You were protecting me, Sam, by not telling me about hunting and all that. You were keeping me naive and safe for as long as you could. And I honestly doubt I would have believed you anyway.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t know what the dreams were then, I’d never had anything like that happen to me, and then it happened for real, and it got even worse from there,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s where I should say I’m sorry,” Mary said from the other side of the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because of the deal you made?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What deal?” Jess asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Back before the boys were born, when I was dating their dad, a demon came to my house, it killed both of my parents, as well as John. Then it made a deal with me, it would bring John back to life if I gave it permission to come to our house in ten years. I agreed in a heartbeat, I didn’t even ask what the hell the visit would be for. I didn’t know that he’d do that to Sam or.…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s okay, Mom, I would have made the same choice in your situation,” Sam said, glancing over at Dean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Me too, Mom, well I kinda did my own version of that already,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Man, what is it with your family?” Jess asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cursed, we’re cursed, I’ve always joked about it, but when you add it all up, seems accurate to me,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We are not cursed, Samuel Winchester, we make our own luck in this life. Sometimes it turns out well, sometimes not. That’s just how it works,” Mary said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How it works pretty much just sucks,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They all agreed on that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean got over himself pretty quickly and accepted Jess in the same way that Sam did, as a sister. He had a harder time than he admitted to anyone else accepting that Mary and Jess wanted to hunt on their own. But they didn’t ask for the boy’s permission and he understood why. Jumping in and helping Mary retrain, and beginning to train Jess went a long way towards that. He started at first because he didn’t want their new sister to get hurt. Or their resurrected mother either. But eventually he came to see it as just part of how their new family would work from then on out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So this is your final test we’re going to do,” Dean said, pinning a paper target to the firing range wall. He walked back towards where Jess stood behind the shooting area. “Go ahead and choose three weapons and the various kinds of ammunition you’d take on a hunt where you weren’t sure what monster you were after.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is Mary doing this one too?” Jess asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t worry about Mary for now, she’s already passed all the re-tests I’ve thrown at her,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had turned out that Mary was still a very good shot, the training her hunter father and mother had instilled in her hadn’t disappeared even though she’d been in Heaven all that time. Jess had taken to the training with all the enthusiasm of a college student learning an interesting new subject. It had been a good way for Dean to get to know her, he pretty much instantly figured out why Sam had ended up with her. She and Dean were so much alike it was almost eerie except for how funny it was, they even shared the same damn birthday. If that wasn’t some sort of cosmic sign, Dean didn’t know what would be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jess chose a crossbow, a Ruger pistol and a sawed-off shotgun, placing them in a row on the shelf in front of her along with several types of bullets and arrows.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good choices, I’m going to shout out a monster type at you, and I’m going to time how long it takes for you to choose the correct weapon and take out that monster. Okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jess nodded and wiped her hands dry on her jeans.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Vampire!” Dean yelled, hitting the starter on the stopwatch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jess quickly filled the Ruger with dead man’s blood coated bullets and shot three times at the head of the figure on the target.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean snapped the stopwatch and noted the time she’d taken on his clipboard. “And now what next?” Dean prompted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jess stepped over to the weapons wall and grabbed a wickedly sharp machete. “Off with their head, if it’s still attached,” she said with a grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what are the chances there’s more in the nest?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m assuming there are more vamps, and I’m ready for them to move more quickly than I can see if they’re the older ones. Half-full pistol and this should be enough,” Jess brandished the machete.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good, that’s really good,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were interrupted by a sudden burst of clapping, not the sarcastic slow type, but the enthusiastic soccer mom on the sidelines kind. Dean and Jess turned to see Sam in the doorway grinning like a fool. Mary was next to him also smiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Looking good, kid,” Mary said. “My parents would have been happy and relieved to have you backing me up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jess ducked her head in embarrassment. “Thanks, Mary.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>****</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Mom and Jess were gone for real, this time they’d zoomed off in their own car, not the Impala. They’d chosen one of the classics from the bunker’s garage and Dean had worked on it with them both to make sure it was in good working order and they’d know how to take care of it out on the road themselves. Rowena had sent along another en-spelled bundle to protect the vehicle like the Impala had always been. Teaching them all the car maintenance stuff reminded Dean of the time he’d tried to pass on that same sort of information to Sam in the months before his demon deal was coming due. Wow, that had been a long time ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam and Dean stood in the now much emptier bunker garage, arms around each other’s waists as the engine sound of Mary and Jess’s car faded away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is this how parents feel when they send their kids off to school? Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, it is,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Out of the two of us, you would know better. I just hope they’re okay out there,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They’re going to be better than okay, they’re going to kick it in the ass,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“When will we know we did the right thing here?” Sam asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What, by not insisting they go back to Heaven?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sam shrugged, not sure what he was really asking, he’d gone back and forth on it so many times in his own mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The way I look at it, seems like it’s their lives, or their <em>after</em> lives, whatever you want to call it. I mean, it wasn’t their choice to come back here, but it was their choice to stay,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You wouldn’t say the same thing about me,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s different,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How so?” Sam said.</p>
<p><br/>
“I don’t…don’t feel the same way about them as I do about you—and us,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How so?” Sam repeated, feeling like he had to force him to say the thing out loud for once.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t get me wrong, they’re important as hell to me, I love them both. But you—and you and me, totally different category. You’re crucial to my life even having a point to it, pretty much the only thing that matters,” Dean said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“See, Amara was right,” Sam said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Amara? What’s she got to do with anything I just said?” Dean asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She made sure I got just what I always wanted,” Sam said, pulling Dean into a hug that wasn’t going to end any time soon if he had a choice. Dean finally hugged him back, like he was accepting what Sam had said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was about time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>The End</em>
</p>
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